I hear Filch has lots of chains in his office, wanna try them out?, 16. I can see into the future, and yeah, were gonna fuck at least once. Because youve made a part of me move without even touching it. [Girl: No!] 75. Now go to MY room!, 45. Its wet and moist somewhere. You are so selfish! Are you the Count Dracula? Wanna play kite? Its pretty big, but it doesnt leak., 13. Why dont we use some Fourier analysis on our relationship and reduce to a series of simple periodic functions., 18. Then its a good thing its daytime., 31. Oh, you like sleeping? Me too! Here is a list of pick up lines for girls that might get her to notice you: Are you a parking ticket? Lets go to my room and put our pieces together., 1. Where are you going? You know why I am like a squirrel? Once you are done checking them, vote for the most hilarious pick-up lines and share this article with your friends! Are you a tortilla? We do not own the lines listed in this guide. 11. Lets bypass all the bullshit and just get naked., 43. 3. 3. By the end of this post you will know what exactly NOT to say when meeting an attractive stranger. If you get me wet, you will see an explosive reaction., 22. If you were a pokemon, youd be a Squirtle, cause you make me wet!, 2. I know your crush is dead. Cause Im not doing you but I definitely should be. Don't smile. Do you live on a chicken farm? Ill show you tonight., 19. Are you a racehorse? Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. !, 29. #NoHobo. Luckily, I have a never-ending supply of cream for you., 2. 2) Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Id like to buy you a drink and then get sexual., 37. You and a blue moon have . Do you peel a banana from the top or bottom? I dont want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent., 19. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized? 156. Lets play carpenter. Wanna know what theyre saying? Are you my homework? You remind me of a leaf blower. [He: No] Well, we should., 11. Agree by clicking, 191+ Cheesy & Corny Pick Up Lines for Guys. When she approached, pull the glasses down and look at her over them. Damn! 134. [Girl: No!] Coz, I don't understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out. Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?, 6. Hey, what's your name? Im scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room and help me test all my condoms?, 5. Youre going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night. 123. Id love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. Remember my name, because youll be screaming it later. What do you say we go upstairs and work out a remedy? Save a broom; ride a Quidditch player., 14. The following Cute Pick-Up Lines have been . Cause you got that ass ma!, 42. Cause your body is kickin., 36. Shakira was wrong, Im definitely confusing. Are you from the Hoenn Region? Are you a sea lion? 'Cause you've got FINE written all over you. Hell grow for you if he likes you. How about we make sure were even with them? now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor. Stop flirting with me Grace, we've only just met We're a match! Because youre the only HO I see., 48. Are you an orphanage? Do you wanna battle? 2. Hey baby, can I see whats under your radical?, 25. Scrambled, poached or fertilized?, 51. The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor., 9. If its true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning. Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply. Im sorry Ill have to rip it apart. Phew! No Woman, No Pie My cats dead, can I play with your pussy instead?, 39. 109. 77. Cause I saw you checking out my package., 3. Youre like my little toe because Im going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home., 3. 186. Well be happy to credit a source. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?, 48. If not, can I have yours? 70. Im not trying to pressure you. If you were oxygen, I would be an alkali metal so I could get in you and explode., 18. Best Pick Up Lines 1. Want to ride my broomstick?, 2. I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I cant., 8. You strip, and Ill poke you., 48. However, blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience of the site and the services we are able to offer. Babe, I want to wrap around you like some hot and spicy Chipotle burrito. Theres more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know., 4. My little friend spits when hes happy. You're so hot; you make the sun envious. 165. Don't worry, I will NEVER spam you. Lets play a game. Mind if I take a look? These can be sweet, cheesy or even funny. Because I could tap you all night. What did Bob Marley say when his wife left him and took the TV? Do you believe in karma? Can I put yours in my mouth? 68. Its possible for the video provider to build a profile of your interests and show you relevant adverts on this or other websites. Fuck me if Im wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right? 31. 85. ], 17. 7. Hello. 73. Funny, Dirty Pick-Up Lines 1. Would you like me to grind my pestle into your mortar?, 21. Is it hot in here? Do you consider yourself a feminist? 91. Using kinky pick up lines is just afunny(yetflirty) way to open up aconversation. The condom in my pocket goes out of date tomorrow, so why dont you help me use it? So, don't wait and just pick your favorite Pick Up Lines and share with someone. Wi' jam in! 76. Thats a nice smile. 166. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. My name is Romeo, would you be my Juliet? Are you into food play? I promise it doesnt smell worse on the inside., 15. 81. Do you wanna LICKILICKY my icky sticky?, 60. Hey, do you have an inhaler? 2. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. So weve got about 30 minutes to get back to your place. Your body has the nicest arc length Ive ever seen., 11. I havent been on my trampoline in ages, but I would gladly bounce on you., 23. Top 10 - Smooth Pick Up Lines To Say To Them. Want to see if you can add has an awesome gag reflex to your resume? Because you sure know how to raise a cock. 177. Most guys on Tinder do not stand a chance.In fact it's been well documented that only 10% of men on the most famous hookup app get laid, the other 90% just get swiped left or unmatched because their game is so weak.The Tinder pick up lines below will actually give you a fighting chance.They will show the girls you match with that you DO have game and you're worth a reply.BUT even though these one-liners get you in, you still need to get the number and get her out! If you were a graphics calculator, Id look at your curves all day long!, 22. One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. Ive heard the population is on the slide, why dont we do something about that tonight? Physical Therapy, Cute, Funny, Quantum Physics lines to make your day. Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. Are you a haunted house? I wouldnt risk arrest for public indecency for just anyone. "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. I dont have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts., 5. My doctor told me I have a Vitamin D deficiency. Just to be clear, were both heading for the same bed tonight, right? My barge isnt the only thing ready to explode., 30. My zipper." 5. No, my wand is in my other pocket. Are you a math teacher? Because when I ride youll always finish first. I'd love to read to you some time. 98. These are 100% fail-proof. Ive just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot. Every time I think about you, my heart's tempo shifts from adagio to allegro. Here, we are talking about dirty pick up lines. 183. Do you wanna die happy?, 10. Yeah, its big, and if you pet it, it spits., 38. Im like a Rubiks Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!, 11. What does a Marley order at Mcdonalds? Hey, you just cured my erectile dysfunction. Lets play strip poker. Because youre hot. "'Where are you from?' 'Uhhh. Enter your email and I'll send you some PROVEN techniques, tips and sneaky tricks that's helping "average" men get laid regularly. Would you like a jacket? 130. 129. 5. Cause Im gonna put my warm balls on your face weather you like it or not., 6. Because I know someone with a well defined normal vector, who admits all sorts of smooth embeddings and exotic structures., 42. Ive got an Onyx, and if you come over to my place Ill show you his move Earthquake (TM 27)., 16. Youre gonna need a HYPERPOTION by the time Im done with you.. I get a charge just from bonding with you., 6. Were going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck., 8. "I'm not drunk, I'm intoxicated by you." You must be my coronary artery because you're wrapped around my heart. 24. As the title says. 97. I dont like the wine here much, but I would definitely like you trying to make me moan., 58. 2.7K Likes, 102 Comments. [shakes head in disgust] You're so pretty you actually made me forget my terrible pick-up line. I can give you a shot of protein when were finished. The Death Star isnt the only thing that will explode tonight., 17. Dont worry, you can pay in kind. Can you do telekinesis? Are your shoelaces tied? You need to read the last point again, just kidding. Apparently Captain Marvel says this. a six-pack). 190. Im gonna have you tied up for a. Will you use ROCK POLISH on my Pokeballs?, 50. Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?, 36. I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me. 1. Because youre giving me wood. There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus. 1. How would you like to be the next notch on my bed post? If you're hitting on a woman, you can't say anything about her wood she doesn't have one. What time do you get off? Im into Australian culture. Wasnt I supposed to eat you somewhere?, 8. 1) cuddles 2) a bedtime story 3) some dick, Did you grow up on a farm? We dont have to tape it., 39. You remind me of my cousin. I can tell youre into yoga, why dont you spend a little time showing me just how flexible you are? Ive got some oral skills I can teach. You look like a really hard worker. What other wishes might you have? Roses or daises? Lets get hammered first, and then Ill nail you., 43. Can you start printing out some missing person posters? Ill show you my tan lines if youll show me yours., 47. Hey Im looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?, 6. Why dont you let me go down on you? 54. Amen. [He: No.] But what would be optimal is if I could be the Nash embedding of a Lorentzian manifold in your subset Euclidean space such that your kernel with respect to Rn is a linear transform of mine that way I could smoothly place myself on your flat areas and extend myself into you., 52. Because we can go hump back at my place. You look so good, I wanna kiss your lips and move up to your bellybutton. They made a new color lightsaber called flesh wanna see?, 24. I hope you like dragons, because Ill be dragon my balls across your face tonight. You must be Medusa because you make me rock hard. Will you marry me for just one night?, 7. These are 100% fail-proof. You work at a post office? Everybody wants unique Pick Up Lines. 21. A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one. Want to make a porno? As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed., 15. Whether successful or not, a funny or cheesy pickup line will certainly make the person's day. Did you know you're the hottest Stacie on Tinder? It would look great on my nightstand., 17. 188. When it gets hard, just Fuck it., 14. Do you work for UPS? First well get hammered, then Ill nail you. I think our Collatz Conjecture holds: wherever we start, we should end up being one., 32. Sex is a killer want to die happy?, 28. 9. "Hey I think it's time for a break, and baby, your hands look like they could use a stretch." 32. Thanks to that body, the Dark Lord has risen again., 18. Im peanut butter, and youre jelly. I lost my virginity. What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My guitar teacher says my fingering is good, especially on the G-string., 31. 112. Id like to get in your rock tunnel., 44. Im scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room and help me test all my condoms? Baby were asymptotic you get on top of me, and in the limit, we become one., 59. Saying smooth pick-up lines that hit just the right spot can be a herculean task, it has to be smooth, cheesy, and most importantly not creepy. A cheesy pickup line. Lets practice Alohomora you can be the door, so I can slam you all I want!, 26. "I'm not usually religious, but when I saw you, I knew you were the answer to my prayers.". What would you rather have from me? Because I know exactly what your pussy needs. 79. Wanna help me out?, 18. You're so sweet you're going to put Hershey's out of business. I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in. These are 100% fail-proof.Note: Aggressive openers work on the girls who are ready to bang, which is about 20%. Lets make love like pi; irrational and never-ending., 3. Because you've been running through my mind all day. 4) On a lazy Sunday: Netflix all day, getting lost in a museum, or cuddling with me? blargman327 Report 45 points Lets play house you can be the door, so I can slam you all I want!, 39. We barely know each other, but lets practice having sex anyway., 35. Hi, Im a burglar and Im going to smash your back door in. Hey girl, you must be asking me to evaluate the area under a curve for an unbounded region of x, because my integrals not the only thing that wants to get improper., 50. Because Id love to spread them. Do you like whales? I would really like to bisect your angle., 8. Hey girl, is your name winter? Ill treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!, 4. You are so selfish. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? It's ridiculous how good I am. Have you seen one? How do you like your eggs and sausage in the morning? Because youre gonna choke a lot on this dick., 11. Of course, theyd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls., 12. Dont worry I can get you grunting in no time., 1. And I have the underwear to match., 26. How about my bodily fluids and yours. Don't memorize everything at one go to impress your crush. Are you butt dialing? Want to see? Can I be the hypotenuse in between your legs., 47. I am putting you on my to-do list. Or you can mix and match and try to make up your own. Our agricultural field has evolved considerably over time, with advancements in Agri technology that have changed the way we farm from what we did a few decades ago. 2. Are you a tortilla? Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so lets begin., 30. 68. Are you a drill sergeant? Oftentimes, they're creepy to the point of deserving a slap. What did Bob Marley say when his wife left him and took the oven? Well, Im European and Ill let you come with me for free. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); He Rita book. 113. Because I need help; I'm getting lost in your eyes. Want to make a cocktail? Your ass is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up? The FBI wants to steal my penis. If Im sine and youre cosine, wanna make like a tangent?, 16. When you find it is when I'll stop loving you. Before she met me, she was just Myrtle., 13. Some are a bit dirtier then others and some are more direct. In my lap. 33. 5. Trust me, I'm not drunk. 50. Give me your name so I know what to scream tonight. 3. 82. My dick., 30. Want to spend the night at my house tonight? Would you like some? Do you know why they call me the cat whisperer? They help us know which pages are the most and least popular and see how visitors move around the site. You be the numerator, and I will be the denominator, so both of us can reduce to the simplest form., 2. My next mission is exploring Uranus. [Uranus = your anus], 41. Are you a raisin? Id love to see you wearing your birthday suit. I heard you like Magic, well bend over and watch my d*ck disappear., 1. I would tell you a joke about my p*nis but it is too long. ???? I did it so that you can be with me. Smell this rag! If I correctly guess your bra size, do I get a prize? I dont need a spoonful of sugar to swallow you., 59. Because I wanna taste you again and again without any sense of shame. They do not store directly personal information, but are based on uniquely identifying your browser and internet device. 2. We should totally meet up for a pizza and f*ck. Your place or mine? I bet your nipples are pink. Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy. Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty. Im like Dominos Pizza. 171. The sparkle in your eyes is so bright, the sun must be jealous. My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger., 12. Use them whenever the situation allows! What has four legs and doesnt have the most beautiful girl on it? Are you missing a chromosome, because you seem very special to me. 181. 78. Do you need a personal boobs holder? 42. Me 'n' u. Want to learn to speak troll? 17. We and our partners use information collected through cookies and similar technologies to improve your experience on our site, analyse how you use it and for marketing purposes. Can I park my car in your garage? "Have we met before?" is Ed's favorite pick-up line, even though it has a very low success rate with the ladies. Your love for them expands just like Marvel's Cinematic Universe. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me? [To a scientist] Hey, can I put my Bunsen In your air-hole?, 20. I may look like an Ewok, but Im all Wookie where it counts, baby., 1. Itll make it easier for me to ride you. Are you a 45-degree angle, because youre perfect., 13. Ive been banned from playing Tapped Out. Lets play Barbie. Because I swear that ass is calling me. Thats a beautiful smile, but itd look even better if it was all you were wearing. Are you a Veterinarian? [Pull out your dong.] 163. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. I wanna put your thingy into my thingy., 28. Can you survive with nothing but one bag? Why dont you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight? My friend and I made a bet, and I need to check if those are implants., 28. How did Bob Marley meet his wife? Your bra doesnt look like it fits, do you want to try the free fitting service back at my place? Over a drink. I must be hunting treasure because Im digging your chest., 37. Are you a pirate? Are you flappy bird? Tell me your name, so I know what to scream tonight., 7. I said: Do you want to taste my drink?, 29. 38. 179. So, We are here with many unique Pick Up Lines for you. Ive got something you can bounce on. A Joint Family. We should play strip poker. [He: No.] Are you a Hitmonlee? How To Break Up With Someone Toxic/Narcissistic Safely And Never LookBack, Signs You Lack Self-Love (And How To DevelopIt), The Best Relationship Advice No One Ever ToldYou, 5 Mindset Shifts To Stop RelationshipAnxiety, 6 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To FindLove. I can only take so much flirting from a distance. You can use them at a bar, on a date, on Tinder, for your partner, or even at work. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? There you are! What's in this Guide Chapter 1 What are pickup lines? Lets play a game; Ill be the trampoline and you can bounce on me. I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away! I could really see myself periodically doing you on a table., 23. These are the best hilarious pick up lines we've got, so if you can manage a decent delivery, you've got great odds you'll have her smirking, smiling, laughing, and eager to get closer. My beaver is dying for some wood. Do you want to give me an Australian kiss? Fine, Ill put on a tux and we can call it formal sex. Hey! What do you call Bob Marley, Ziggy Marley, Damian Marley and Ky-Mani Marley? to get a response every time, without fail. I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in? I'm a medic, I know your body better than you do! It involves bodily fluids. I wish I was an Abra, so I could TELEPORT to your bedroom., 31. Use these Tinder pick up lines to get a response every time, without fail. Want to take part in my exchange program? I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle. Not only will you have fun mastering French pick-up lines, but you'll also learn some new French words. ('We jammin') Im either going home with you or behind you, take your pick., 24. I ought to complain to Spotify for you. My zipper., 5. Are you a shark? This definitely works best if you've just bought someone a drink. Itd be more if you want foreplay., 21. 159. Shall we see how well you gargle with my cock in your mouth? Because youre making me hard. Can I put yours in my mouth?, 55. It is just like a French kiss, but down under. [Girl: What?] How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut. Did you just come out of the oven? I can think of an activity for us to do that rhymes with muck. "You're attractive and I'm attractive. Better grab the AED you just made my heart stop! You know sometimes you've to step up and improve how you approach someone. My Magikarp knows a little more than SPLASH if you know what I mean., 10. You make me NP-hard, but I have an algorithm for you to approach me., 30. Im not into watching sunsets, but Id love to see you go down. I ran out of tooth floss this morning and dental hygiene is important to me. 34. 3) Are you a parking ticket? 103. Do you train cats? Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. Because Im picturing you holding up my balls. Would you like to take a cold shower?, 45. You should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand. When I saw you, I lost my tongue. Hello, gorgeous. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? Do you work at Home Depot? You can set your browser to block oralert you about these cookies, but some parts of the site will not then work. Youre making me wet., 51. Can I hide it inside you? Those are some nice pants! Want to taste my dick? That's my icebreaker. Baby, you make me harder than the traveling salesman problem., 37. You can copy-paste from here. [He: No why?] Do you like differential geometry? 37. Lets go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply., 8. Im not wearing any socks. Im no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock. I must have missed the slippery when we sign when I was walking towards you. I don't want you falling for anyone else. 126. I was feeling off today, but you definitely turned me on. Do you have any Italian in you? I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity., 4. He did make good on this assumption most of the time, but his path was .